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Peace after loss is not the absence of grief. More often it is a moment of rest within it: a still evening, a deep breath, a sense that you do not have to fight the tide right now.
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Acceptance does not mean saying that what happened was alright. It means gently stopping the struggle against what cannot be changed, so that your energy can go toward what still can. Nearly every tradition — from the Serenity Prayer to the Bhagavad Gita to Stoic philosophy — has its own words for this.
Let these settle slowly.
Stillness is easier to find with the body's help. The breathing lantern on our home page offers a simple four-seconds-in, six-seconds-out rhythm to rest with.
The wise grieve neither for the living nor for the dead.
— After the Bhagavad Gita, 2.11Come unto me, all ye that labour and are heavy laden, and I will give you rest.
— Matthew 11:28 (KJV)For what is it to die but to stand naked in the wind and to melt into the sun?
— Kahlil Gibran, The ProphetThe quiet can be heavy, but it can also be a place to rest. You may need both.
— The Quiet LightBetter than a thousand hollow words is one word that brings peace.
— After the Dhammapada, 100The softest things in the world overcome the hardest.
— After Lao Tzu, Tao Te Ching 43Very little is needed to make a happy life; it is all within yourself, in your way of thinking.
— Marcus Aurelius, MeditationsTo God we belong, and to Him we shall return.
— Qur'an 2:156The curious paradox is that when I accept myself just as I am, then I can change.
— Carl RogersLet us show our feeling for lost friends not by lamenting them, but by remembering them.
— After EpicurusJust as the soul passes through childhood, youth and old age, so too it passes on at death. The steady are not bewildered by this.
— After the Bhagavad Gita, 2.13Peace I leave with you, my peace I give unto you. Let not your heart be troubled, neither let it be afraid.
— John 14:27 (KJV)What's gone and what's past help should be past grief.
— William Shakespeare, The Winter's TaleForgiving yourself is not forgetting. It is choosing to carry love instead of blame.
— The Quiet LightJust as a mother would protect her only child with her life, so let us cultivate a boundless love toward all beings.
— After the Metta SuttaMuddy water, left still, slowly becomes clear.
— After Lao Tzu, Tao Te Ching 15Time is a sort of river of passing events, and strong is its current.
— Marcus Aurelius, MeditationsGod is nearer to us than our own jugular vein.
— After Qur'an 50:16Healthy grieving moves back and forth: some time with the loss, some time with daily life. Both are part of healing.
— After the dual process model of grief (Stroebe & Schut)Where death is, I am not; where I am, death is not.
— After EpicurusOne who stays steady in sorrow and in joy, undisturbed by either, is ready for lasting peace.
— After the Bhagavad Gita, 2.15And the peace of God, which passeth all understanding, shall keep your hearts and minds.
— Philippians 4:7 (KJV)Death is nothing at all. I have only slipped away into the next room.
— Henry Scott HollandYour feet are on the ground. Your breath is still here. For this moment, you are safe.
— The Quiet LightAll things that arise also pass away. Strive on with care.
— After the Buddha's last wordsOne who knows that enough is enough will always have enough.
— After Lao Tzu, Tao Te Ching 46The universe is change; our life is what our thoughts make it.
— Marcus Aurelius, MeditationsVerily, in the remembrance of God do hearts find rest.
— Qur'an 13:28You can't stop the waves, but you can learn to surf.
— Jon Kabat-ZinnThe only way to make sense out of change is to plunge into it, move with it, and join the dance.
— Alan WattsFor all who are born, death is certain. Do not lament over what cannot be avoided.
— After the Bhagavad Gita, 2.27I will both lay me down in peace, and sleep.
— Psalm 4:8 (KJV)Have courage for the great sorrows of life and patience for the small ones; and when you have laboriously accomplished your daily task, go to sleep in peace.
— Attributed to Victor HugoYou are allowed to put down what you cannot carry today and pick it up another day.
— The Quiet LightSmile, breathe, and go slowly.
— Thich Nhat HanhNature does not hurry, yet everything is accomplished.
— Attributed to Lao TzuAccept the things to which fate binds you, and love the people with whom fate brings you together.
— Marcus Aurelius, MeditationsAll shall be well, and all shall be well, and all manner of thing shall be well.
— Julian of NorwichDo your work with a steady mind, letting go of attachment to success or failure. Such evenness of mind is called yoga.
— After the Bhagavad Gita, 2.48Cast thy burden upon the Lord, and he shall sustain thee.
— Psalm 55:22 (KJV)Death is not extinguishing the light; it is only putting out the lamp because the dawn has come.
— Attributed to Rabindranath TagoreLet the breath come in on its own, and leave on its own. Nothing else is needed right now.
— The Quiet LightLet go, or be dragged.
— Zen sayingLife and death follow one another like the four seasons.
— After ZhuangziNever say of anything, "I have lost it," but, "I have returned it."
— Epictetus, EnchiridionGod, grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change, courage to change the things I can, and wisdom to know the difference.
— Reinhold Niebuhr, The Serenity PrayerOne whose mind is untroubled in sorrow, who is free from fear and anger, is called a person of steady wisdom.
— After the Bhagavad Gita, 2.56So teach us to number our days, that we may apply our hearts unto wisdom.
— Psalm 90:12 (KJV)Let life be beautiful like summer flowers and death like autumn leaves.
— Rabindranath Tagore, Stray BirdsPeace is not the absence of grief. It is a moment of rest within it.
— The Quiet LightBefore enlightenment, chop wood, carry water. After enlightenment, chop wood, carry water.
— Zen sayingMay the road rise up to meet you. May the wind be always at your back. May the sun shine warm upon your face.
— Traditional Irish blessingMake the best use of what is in your power, and take the rest as it happens.
— After EpictetusLet nothing disturb you, let nothing frighten you; all things are passing.
— St. Teresa of ÁvilaAs rivers pour into the ocean and it remains still, so peace comes to one whom desires enter without disturbing.
— After the Bhagavad Gita, 2.70The Lord is my shepherd; I shall not want. He maketh me to lie down in green pastures: he leadeth me beside the still waters.
— Psalm 23:1–2 (KJV)Clouds come floating into my life, no longer to carry rain or usher storm, but to add colour to my sunset sky.
— Rabindranath Tagore, Stray BirdsSit by a window. Watch the light change. Let the world move slowly for a while.
— The Quiet LightBecause nothing stays, every moment of love we were given was precious.
— After the Buddhist teaching of impermanenceUntil we meet again, may God hold you in the palm of His hand.
— Traditional Irish blessingFor one who is moderate in eating, resting, working and sleeping, practice becomes the destroyer of sorrow.
— After the Bhagavad Gita, 6.17He restoreth my soul.
— Psalm 23:3 (KJV)Adopt the pace of nature: her secret is patience.
— Ralph Waldo EmersonAccepting what happened is not saying it was alright. It is choosing to stop fighting the tide.
— The Quiet LightLike a lamp in a windless place that does not flicker — so is a mind that has found stillness.
— After the Bhagavad Gita, 6.19Let not the sun go down upon your wrath.
— Ephesians 4:26 (KJV)With the past, I have nothing to do; nor with the future. I live now.
— Ralph Waldo EmersonSome questions do not have answers. You are allowed to rest without them.
— The Quiet LightBe friendly and compassionate to all, free from ego, forgiving, and even-minded in joy and sorrow.
— After the Bhagavad Gita, 12.13In the multitude of my thoughts within me thy comforts delight my soul.
— Psalm 94:19 (KJV)Live in each season as it passes; breathe the air, drink the drink, taste the fruit.
— Henry David ThoreauQuiet moments are not empty. They are where the heart settles.
— The Quiet LightSet down every worry and take refuge in the divine. Do not grieve.
— After the Bhagavad Gita, 18.66Be still, and know that I am God.
— Psalm 46:10 (KJV)Not overjoyed by what is pleasant, nor shaken by what is unpleasant, the steady mind rests in the eternal.
— After the Bhagavad Gita, 5.20One who sees all beings in the Self, and the Self in all beings, no longer turns away from anything.
— After the Isha UpanishadWhatever is destined not to happen will not happen, try as you may. Whatever is destined to happen will happen, do what you may.
— Ramana MaharshiThe river and its waves are one surf: where is the difference between the river and its waves?
— Kabir (trans. Rabindranath Tagore)Do not go to the garden of flowers! O Friend! go not there; in your body is the garden of flowers.
— Kabir (trans. Rabindranath Tagore)
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