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Grief is physically tiring. Many people find they sleep badly, forget things, struggle to concentrate, or feel strangely flat and numb — as if the world is behind glass.
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None of this means you are grieving wrongly. Numbness is often the mind's way of letting in only as much as you can bear. Exhaustion is a sign of how much you are carrying. Small days, short tasks and plenty of rest are not giving up; they are how the heart gathers itself.
These words offer permission to slow down.
If exhaustion lasts for months, or comes with weight loss, poor sleep every night, or feeling hopeless, please mention it to your doctor. Grief can sometimes overlap with depression, and both can be helped.
Come unto me, all ye that labour and are heavy laden, and I will give you rest.
— Matthew 11:28 (KJV)Grief is heavy work. Being tired is not weakness; it is proof of how much you are carrying.
— The Quiet LightWe do not "get over" a great loss. We learn, slowly, to live alongside it.
— After Elisabeth Kübler-Ross & David KesslerA journey of a thousand miles begins with a single step.
— After Lao Tzu, Tao Te Ching 64Hope is the thing with feathers that perches in the soul.
— Emily DickinsonPleasure and pain, heat and cold — they come and they go. They do not last. Bear them patiently.
— After the Bhagavad Gita, 2.14Confine yourself to the present.
— Marcus Aurelius, MeditationsThe present moment is the only place where life can be lived. Come back to it, breath by breath.
— After Thich Nhat HanhGod does not burden any soul beyond what it can bear.
— Qur'an 2:286They that wait upon the Lord shall renew their strength; they shall mount up with wings as eagles; they shall run, and not be weary; and they shall walk, and not faint.
— Isaiah 40:31 (KJV)Today can be a small day. Small days count too.
— The Quiet LightSome things cannot be fixed. They can only be carried.
— Megan DevineNature does not hurry, yet everything is accomplished.
— Attributed to Lao TzuHe that lacks time to mourn, lacks time to mend.
— Sir Henry TaylorLift yourself up by your own self; do not let yourself sink. You can be your own truest friend.
— After the Bhagavad Gita, 6.5Sometimes even to live is an act of courage.
— Seneca, LettersSmile, breathe, and go slowly.
— Thich Nhat HanhTo every thing there is a season, and a time to every purpose under the heaven.
— Ecclesiastes 3:1 (KJV)Drink a glass of water. Open a window. That is enough of a beginning.
— The Quiet LightHealthy grieving moves back and forth: some time with the loss, some time with daily life. Both are part of healing.
— After the dual process model of grief (Stroebe & Schut)It does not matter how slowly you go, as long as you do not stop.
— Attributed to ConfuciusHave courage for the great sorrows of life and patience for the small ones; and when you have laboriously accomplished your daily task, go to sleep in peace.
— Attributed to Victor HugoFor one who is moderate in eating, resting, working and sleeping, practice becomes the destroyer of sorrow.
— After the Bhagavad Gita, 6.17No great thing is created suddenly.
— Epictetus, DiscoursesBefore enlightenment, chop wood, carry water. After enlightenment, chop wood, carry water.
— Zen sayingFor which cause we faint not; but though our outward man perish, yet the inward man is renewed day by day.
— 2 Corinthians 4:16 (KJV)When everything feels like too much, do only the next kind thing.
— The Quiet LightGrief does not shrink so much as life slowly grows around it.
— After Lois Tonkin's model of "growing around grief"The one who moves a mountain begins by carrying away small stones.
— Attributed to ConfuciusAdopt the pace of nature: her secret is patience.
— Ralph Waldo EmersonHis compassions fail not. They are new every morning.
— Lamentations 3:22–23 (KJV)You are allowed to put down what you cannot carry today and pick it up another day.
— The Quiet LightSmall actions often come before motivation, not after. Do one gentle thing, and let the feeling follow.
— After behavioural activation researchNo one ever steps in the same river twice, for it is not the same river, and they are not the same person.
— After HeraclitusDo not worry about tomorrow; each day has enough trouble of its own.
— After Matthew 6:34Numb days are not empty days. The heart is resting before it feels again.
— The Quiet LightNumbness is the mind's way of letting in only what we can bear. It will lift in its own time.
— After grief psychologyI will both lay me down in peace, and sleep.
— Psalm 4:8 (KJV)Let today be a soft day. You do not have to be cheerful for anyone.
— The Quiet LightOn sleepless nights, rest still counts. Lying quietly and breathing slowly gives the body some of what it needs.
— After sleep researchCast thy burden upon the Lord, and he shall sustain thee.
— Psalm 55:22 (KJV)The sun rose this morning without needing you to be ready. Let it do some of the work.
— The Quiet LightHe restoreth my soul.
— Psalm 23:3 (KJV)Keep going softly. Slow steps still move you forward.
— The Quiet Light
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